There's something Vile in the Valentines Aisle

Can you believe it's almost Valentines day?

For most of us Valentines Day is a sentimental holiday.

Lace hearts and gilded cards arrive in the mailbox

Fresh flowers and roses are delivered by hand,

and boxes of delectable delights or small tempting treats are offered to those we love.

Personally, I love Valentines day, and I look forward to hitting the candy aisle a few weeks ahead of time just to "see" what there is on offer.

This year, however, I found myself shrinking back in horror at the dismal display of
Valentines Wannabes that were strategically stacked in my neighborhood Target.

Those of you who know me well know that one of my biggest pet peeves is finding specific Holiday candy packaged as something else.... Easter Candy Canes would be a good example of this.

I can understand why retailers want to exploit our love of specific candies and chocolates all year round - but there is something about buying pastel candy canes in April or purchasing Halloween Cadbury Eggs, that takes a bit of the enjoyment out of the candy.

Here are a few of the worst offenders. Seasonal candy, masquerading as something it is not in a thinly veiled attempt to profit from our sentimental love of Candy...



Do you really think dying them red and dipping the bottom makes them a Valentines treat??? Oh, and I just love the flavor reference;

"Strawberry Creme" - with an accent over the e - as if this makes it some kind of decadent pleasure... Really folks - a Peep is a Peep is a Peep

Peeps belong in Easter baskets - end of story!

Shouldn't these be called "Teds" or something???

Why, why, why?
Lets just call these what they really are....

...Marshmallow Hearts dipped in chocolate.

Actually, marshmallow hearts sound yummier than Peeps hearts because we all know that Peeps are not real marshmallows.
The ONLY time peeps really taste good is when they come in pastel colors and are nestled in an Easter basket... am I wrong?

Again, this marshmallow monstrosity is not a "peep"

Now don't get me wrong, I love Dots (traditional - eat them in a movie theater dots).

I wonder if anyone taste-tested this Valentines version before they left the factory... or perhaps someone accidentally dropped a bottle of shampoo into the batch that I bought?
Ok - so you call it "Cupid Corn" - and suddenly we are supposed to buy it by the pound for Valentines day.

What's next...Lepra"corn" for St. Patties, or Presidents day corn?

the trick to loving Candy Corn is that you only eat it ONCE a year.

Lets face it, we all eat enough Candy Corn in October to last us until the following Halloween

a little goes a long way with this candy.

If we all stuck to the traditional Holiday candy that was SUPPOSED to be consumed for Valentines, perhaps these imposter's would disappear from retail shelves.

Try some good Old-Fashioned Conversation Hearts this year!

Printed with Corny messages and so hard that your loved one stands a 1 in 5 chance of chipping a tooth.

This Candy has been a valentines stand-by for decades.
(even though the Necco Co. has changed the flavor a bit - they still scream Valentines)
Or how about a Kiss?
I swear Hershey kisses taste different on Valentines Day.

Their simple shape and cute packaging make them perfect for filling candy bowls, boxes and bags.

Red hot Cinnamon hearts, sugar coated gummy hearts and simple foil covered chocolate hearts are all appropriate and TRADITIONAL Valentine goodies.

Of course the store I was in was also filled with tacky heart shaped boxes, all priced under ten dollars and decorated with images of Darth Vadar, Elvis or puppies and kittens.

How romantic can an acetate covered heart shaped box with a plastic flower stuck on the lid really be?

One really good, high-quality piece of chocolate is better than a whole stack of cheap heart shaped boxes. And I don't buy the argument that these cheap, flavorless chocolate boxes are for "kids" - why should kids be subjected to this kind of junk?

I say visit your local chocolatier, or go online and order from one of the hundreds of truly artisanal chocolate makers in the U.S.

Surprise your Valentine with something SPECIAL - not something that is "on Special"!

Personally, this year I plan to make sweet ice-cream sundaes for my family - with homemade chocolate sauce

Oh, and by the way Sweetie - I would DIE for a box of chocolates from

Hint Hint!

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